There are things you can say to a chronically ill person that might rub them the wrong way. You probably didn't mean anything by what you said or you were completely unaware of their situation. This is not to sound mean or bossy, just to make people a little more aware.
Here is a few things not to say to "sick" person:
1. But you don't look sick.
A lot of people suffer from illnesses that are not visible. Mine, chronic kidney disease, is not noticeable. Except for my weight loss due to diet changes. Just because they don't have bandages, face mask, or any other medical gear on them does not mean they are not fighting a huge internal battle.
2. Aren't you too young?
I was told this one a lot in Phoenix by doctors or other office staff. When I am waiting in a the front lobby for my name to be called and I am the youngest person by about 25 years or more, this is no longer a compliment. It makes me feel self conscious. "Fantastic, I have the body of a 70 year old on the inside!"
3. At least you don't have cancer
This also does not help. Yes, cancer is HORRIBLE. But living with a lifelong illness that does not have a cure (like chemo) is also horrible. It is a pain in the ass and there are daily reminders.
4. Try this diet or herbal supplement, it will help.
With CKD, you are told to avoid supplements. You are also limited in your food choices, my least favorite part. So it won't help if you suggest these things, but I will try to always be polite about turning you down. I know you mean well.
5. It's not a big deal.
My (idiot) general doctor told me that it was not a big deal that my kidneys were not functioning correctly. Fuck you lady, it is a huge deal now. Other people say this to me too. It is a life long struggle, not sure how many times I can spell that out for someone.
Here are a few things you can do or say to that person in your life:
1. Ask how they are dealing with everything.
This helps so much. Even if the person breaks down into tears, just listen to them. That is all people need sometimes. An open ear and a shoulder to cry on.
2. Ask if you can help them in some way.
Also incredibly helpful. If you can help, great! If you just send the offer out, even better.
3. Send a little card or gift.
I personally LOVE getting greating cards in the mail. My friend, KH, is great at that and always knows what to say to make me feel better. Small gifts are nice, if you are financially inclined. There are websites and Etsy shops that you can purchase disease specific items. I think that is a fantastic idea!