The worst part of life, in my opinion, is waiting. The title of today's blog is a song from 2006 Broadway show, "Spring Awakening" with Jonathan Groff and Lea Michele. The song has nothing to do with waiting, but it seemed fitting. Plus it gets stuck in my head every time I hear it.
I have never been a patient person. It doesn't matter if something good or bad is coming soon, it just needs to get here faster. So when I was diagnosed with my illness and the doctor said 3-5 years I had mixed feelings. On first thought, it was great that I could lead a healthy life for that much longer. On the other hand, I just want to get things over with and move on.
That is not possible when you have a chronic illness. Chronic is defined as "persisting for a long time or constantly recurring." There is no getting around it or recovering like people suggest to me all the time. I have to live with this for the rest of my life. Which means, even after transplant I will not be fixed or cured or completely healthy. What a bitch, right?
Anyway, back to waiting and patience. Right now, all I am doing is waiting for UCSF. I have at least two donors being processed through donor relations. But everything takes time, so it is a slow process. I want to just move forward with the transplant so I can get my life moving forward. I feel kind of stuck in this weird limbo. Three to six months, says UCSF. Fingers crossed!