Below there are two letters. I wrote a letter to my future husband in 2017 after a breakup. I adjusted it this month after another breakup. My thoughts have definitely changed but not most of it.
Also. I called the original post Ideal Man. Maybe there is now ideal man. You shouldn't push people to be perfect or ask for perfect. I have never asked for perfect. I just want enough and to be enough.
Maybe this doesn't exist in a partner for me. I do not know.
May 8th, 2024
Dear Future Partner,
I feel silly writing this letter when I definetly haven't met you yet. Maybe you do not exist and I am imagning a future I will never have. This letter is a thank you for how you make me feel everyday and for putting in effort to make our relationship special.Thank you for being my best friend and partner through life no matter how challenging things can get. You always know how to make me laugh, feel desired, and communicate your true feelings. To make the relationship last, you must both communicate what is going on in your life, your heart, and your head. I have learned over and over now that communication really is the key. I can communicate as much as I can, but still not get communication back. Thank you for always speaking your mind even if it isn't neccessarily fun.
Thank you for loving me despite all of my physical challenges and what I see as flaws. I will always have a number of intense scars, always have bruises, wear cgm, and utilize hearing aids. These are challenging for me to accept but you have never had an issue with any of it. I may be slower than other gals, but trust that I am always making an effort. You make me feel "normal," loved, and seen.
Thank you for understand that I overthink everything. Thank you for understanding that I am insecure. Thank you for always trying to comfort and encourage these intrustive thoughts at I have away.
Thank you for being an excellent chef and a great adventurer. These probably shouldn't matter but it is what I have always wanted in a man. Make me a great meal and I will always clean the dishes. Take me somewhere we have never been to explore and just sit by a lake. Try new restaurants with me and I will try new things with you.
Thank you for understanding my stance of different issues. Even if we do not agree on politics, alcohol, or anything else, you never pick a fight or push me to change my mind. The most important of these would be children. I do not want children and I cannot have children. This world is too harsh. Thank you for never wanting them or changing your mind about them.
Thank you for maintaining a healthy lifestyle with me. Sure, we can eat a pizza on Saturday nights and you can order beer. But in the whole picture, you exercise and eat healthy, which keeps me doing those things. Thank you for attempting to eat withing my limites or supporting me to eat withtin those limits. Thank you for never smoking, what a disgusting habit.
Thank you for holding my hand while walking in public, opening doors for me, snuggling on the couch with a movie, complimenting me, always asking how my day was, and telling me I look beautiful even if I don't feel it. Thank you for always encouraging me to be my best and not critizing me when I feel down.
Thank you for being an excellent chef and a great adventurer. These probably shouldn't matter but it is what I have always wanted in a man. Make me a great meal and I will always clean the dishes. Take me somewhere we have never been to explore and just sit by a lake. Try new restaurants with me and I will try new things with you.
Thank you for understanding my stance of different issues. Even if we do not agree on politics, alcohol, or anything else, you never pick a fight or push me to change my mind. The most important of these would be children. I do not want children and I cannot have children. This world is too harsh. Thank you for never wanting them or changing your mind about them.
Thank you for maintaining a healthy lifestyle with me. Sure, we can eat a pizza on Saturday nights and you can order beer. But in the whole picture, you exercise and eat healthy, which keeps me doing those things. Thank you for attempting to eat withing my limites or supporting me to eat withtin those limits. Thank you for never smoking, what a disgusting habit.
Thank you for holding my hand while walking in public, opening doors for me, snuggling on the couch with a movie, complimenting me, always asking how my day was, and telling me I look beautiful even if I don't feel it. Thank you for always encouraging me to be my best and not critizing me when I feel down.
Thank you for always saying thank you and showing that you appreciate me. It means so much to me that you show appreciation for things I do and things I say.
Most of all thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me and living this life together. I now know what I had been searching for all of those years and in relationships that weren't quite right. You were never bothered by my illnesses, my scars, or my insecurities. Thank you.
Yours forever,
Robyn
Most of all thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me and living this life together. I now know what I had been searching for all of those years and in relationships that weren't quite right. You were never bothered by my illnesses, my scars, or my insecurities. Thank you.
Yours forever,
Robyn
December 2017
Dear Future Husband,
It may seem silly to write this letter when I may or may not have met you yet. This is a letter to the ideal man. Hopefully you are tall, dark, and handsome just like the movies always told me.
Thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws. At least what I consider my flaws, inside and out. By now, I have two major surgery scars. These are my outside flaws. My arm for precaution and my stomach to save my life. These are not the most attractive things to look at. Sometimes I feel like my surgery arm looks so ugly that I never want to show anyone. You have never minded and even encourage me to be proud of them. My inside flaws are my emotional scars from previous relationships, pain, and mental insecurities. You have always been there to comfort and guide me away from anxious feelings. You were always there with the right thing to say or do to cheer me up after a rough day.
Thank you for making me laugh, feel desired, and communicating your true feelings. Relationships, of any kind, are a two way street. To be successful, you must both communicate what is going on in your life, your heart, and your head. There is more to it than that. There is sexual attraction, romance, and being silly together. You, sir, are the perfect combination of these things. The ability to make a women smile and make her blush, is definitely a positive in a relationship.
Thank you for being an excellent chef and a great adventurer. These probably shouldn't matter but it is what I have always wanted in a man. Make me a great meal and I will clean the dishes every time. Take me somewhere we have never been to explore and just sit by a lake. I will sit in try that hammock even if terrifies me. You make me want to try new things.
Thank you for understanding my stance of different issues. Even if we do not agree on politics, alcohol, or anything else, you never argue or push me to change my mind. The most important of these would be children. I don't necessarily want them and probably can never have them. You have understood that from the beginning and want the same thing. You also always have an open mind and are willing to listen.
Thank you for maintaining a healthy lifestyle with me. Sure, we can eat a pizza on Saturday night and you can order beer. But on the whole picture, you exercise and eat healthy which keeps me doing those things and keeping this little bean going for as long as possible. Thank you for never smoking, what a disgusting habit.
Thank you for holding my hand while walking public, opening doors for me, snuggling on the couch with a movie, and telling me I look beautiful even if I don't feel it.
Most of all thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me and living this life together. I know know what I had been searching for all of those years. You were never bothered by my illness, my scars, or my sick person insecurities. Thank you.
Yours forever,
Robyn
It may seem silly to write this letter when I may or may not have met you yet. This is a letter to the ideal man. Hopefully you are tall, dark, and handsome just like the movies always told me.
Thank you for loving me despite all of my flaws. At least what I consider my flaws, inside and out. By now, I have two major surgery scars. These are my outside flaws. My arm for precaution and my stomach to save my life. These are not the most attractive things to look at. Sometimes I feel like my surgery arm looks so ugly that I never want to show anyone. You have never minded and even encourage me to be proud of them. My inside flaws are my emotional scars from previous relationships, pain, and mental insecurities. You have always been there to comfort and guide me away from anxious feelings. You were always there with the right thing to say or do to cheer me up after a rough day.
Thank you for making me laugh, feel desired, and communicating your true feelings. Relationships, of any kind, are a two way street. To be successful, you must both communicate what is going on in your life, your heart, and your head. There is more to it than that. There is sexual attraction, romance, and being silly together. You, sir, are the perfect combination of these things. The ability to make a women smile and make her blush, is definitely a positive in a relationship.
Thank you for being an excellent chef and a great adventurer. These probably shouldn't matter but it is what I have always wanted in a man. Make me a great meal and I will clean the dishes every time. Take me somewhere we have never been to explore and just sit by a lake. I will sit in try that hammock even if terrifies me. You make me want to try new things.
Thank you for understanding my stance of different issues. Even if we do not agree on politics, alcohol, or anything else, you never argue or push me to change my mind. The most important of these would be children. I don't necessarily want them and probably can never have them. You have understood that from the beginning and want the same thing. You also always have an open mind and are willing to listen.
Thank you for maintaining a healthy lifestyle with me. Sure, we can eat a pizza on Saturday night and you can order beer. But on the whole picture, you exercise and eat healthy which keeps me doing those things and keeping this little bean going for as long as possible. Thank you for never smoking, what a disgusting habit.
Thank you for holding my hand while walking public, opening doors for me, snuggling on the couch with a movie, and telling me I look beautiful even if I don't feel it.
Most of all thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me and living this life together. I know know what I had been searching for all of those years. You were never bothered by my illness, my scars, or my sick person insecurities. Thank you.
Yours forever,
Robyn