The title of today's blog is a play on words from Colleen Hoover's "Reminders of Him." This morning I was watching Michelle & Barack Obama's speeches from the Democratic National Convention. I was actually feeling hopeful, like Michelle mentioned. I feel like everyone is much more excited about this election now that Kamala Harris is the nominee instead of Biden. I'm actually a little excited. Election time reminds me of people and it is hard. 1. I remember the first time Barack Obama won, I was at home. My dad cried, he almost never cried, because a black man had just won the election. He was born in the 1951 so this was huge. 2. I moved to Arizona, thinking my life would be forever changed with KA, on Election Day in 2016. How wrong I was and so was the country to elect that awful Cheeto man. 3. My mom passed on Election Day in 2020. 4. This year for Election Day I will be in Hawaii with my aunt. Hopefully it will be a great day and a great election.
Yesterday I was having a lot of mixed feelings about MC. Today, I just feel sad about him again. I really wish things have been different. But I also realize now that he did not appreciate me and wasn't invested in us life I was. The really bad thoughts also keep creeping in.
Examples include:
- him was never in love with me, he just liked my company and didn't know where to end it
- he broke up with me because I got fat and boring
- he broke up with me for sex
- he was using me the whole time and got sick of me
- maybe he never wanted to live with me but didn't want to say no
- maybe he found someone else and wouldn't tell me
Things that make me feel better on hard days:
- morning walks
- blogging
- utilizing my planner
- cleaning the house
- happy mail