All I can think about are the unanswered questions.
Why didn't he speak up?
Why didn't he try to make things better?
What did I do wrong?
What could I have done better?
What exactly changed?
Why didn't he see a future with me?
Did my changing body make you stop loving me?
Would things have been different if I put more effort into my appearance?
Why wasn't I enough anymore?
Were you ever in love with me?
Why did I have to drag it out of you?
What the fuck was the last year of our lives together?
Did you consider fixing things or just get stuck on one thing you didn't like about us?
Does he miss me?
Does he regret his decision?
Does he understand all the things that he took aware from me?
I thought that I tried to give you space to speak up, but nothing. You just withdrew and never let me know what you were thinking. This is so unfair to me. Now all I do is question our relationship, you, and then blame myself. Logic is gone. Heartbreak and sadness are the only things left.
I am missing so many things right now because of what you did. Calm, belonging, peace, love, friendship, family. I wish I could just be happy that the relationship happened and we had good times. But right now it is just awfully hard to think about those good times without feeling miserable.
Why does no one loves me like I love them? Or feel as attached as I do? No one fights to keep me. Am I that boring, ugly, simple, difficult? What exactly is it that people don't want to stick around for?
I might as well just be alone forever.